An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment.
They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."
Paul, late for an important meeting, was searching desperately for a parking spot in a parking lot. Looking up to the heaven’s he entreated “God if you find me a parking spot, I promise to start going to church again.” The words were barely out of his mouth, when a spot opened up right in front of his car.Paul looked back up, “never mind I found one.”
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
A Wife Hit Her Husband With Frying Pan:
Husband: What was that for?
Wife: I found a paper in your Pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I played a Race last week and Jenny was the name of my Horse.
Wife: Sorry!
Next day, Wife again hit him with the Frying Pan.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Your Horse is on the Phone.
Someone stole the school bus,
Don't ask me how or why,
It's too far to walk to school,
Or run,
Or even fly...
Someone stole the school bus.
What a bad, bad thing,
So many kids can't get to school,
What's this gonna bring???
No more classes,
No more teachers,
No more ringing bells...
No more pencils,
No more paper,
No more lunchroom smells!
Someone stole the school bus.
I can't imagine who,
I think they're pretty evil,
I bet you think so too...
Someone stole the school bus,
I'm feeling pretty beat,
Burying a school bus,
Is not an easy feat...
One girl comes late to class.
Professor : Why r u late?
Girl : One boy was following me sir boy following girl
Professor : So,what?
Girl : That boy was walking very slowly.
Banta singh opens up an hotmail account
Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.