A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."
Banta singh opens up an hotmail account
Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
Dad to Tintu mon:
When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintu mon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintu mon: I clean it with your tooth brush.
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Tintu Mon 2 God: Plz give me 1 bag full of money, a job and 1 big vehicle
full of girls.
God: Bless u!
Today Tintu Mon is the bus conductor of a Girls College.
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Sardar: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Sardar: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Sardar: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?
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Tintumon called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of
Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls rd,kannur….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…
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Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and
tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," tinumon said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you
up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" tinumon finished.
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Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote"Drive carefully! Don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"
prof:chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
prof:For sodium?
Tintumon:NA
prof:wat will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atom of NA combines?
tintumon:"BANANA"
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PASSIVE VOICE
teacher: Write the passive voice of " I made a mistake"
tintumon: " I was made by a mistake"
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Tintumon went to his Dad's Friend's home late night.
Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby's room.
Tintumon refused because the Baby might Cry at Night and went to sleep in the drawing hall.
Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the breakfast table,
Tintumon : Who are you?
The girl replied,"I am Baby and You??"
Tintumon : I am a Stupid!!!
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PROFESSOR
A professor to tintumon: "what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?"
tintumon: "JIMBALAKDI BAMBA"
professor: "i dont understand anything"
tintumon: "same 2 you"
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Techy Tintumon
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!
One fine afternoon, a smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit. He called out, “Hey mom, I have no cavities today.”
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised. But she smiled and then frowned knowing the expected. “Let me guess,” she said, “You have not a tooth left.”
My puppy likes the water.
My puppy likes to swim.
I've never seen a puppy
who swims as much as him.
He swims not on the surface,
but only underneath.
And maybe I should warn you,
he has very scary teeth.
Whenever people see him
they're frightened of his grin.
Or maybe it's his lack of fur.
Or maybe it's his fin.
If you should buy a puppy,
just get the kind that barks.
Don't be like me. I bought mine
at a store that just sells sharks.
A teacher says "OK, class. Today we're going to be talking about the tenses. If I say 'I'm beautiful,' what tense am I using?"
A boy raises his hand and says, "Obviously the past tense, Miss."
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.