Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!
A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
Wife to Husband :-
You don’t Love me at all….
Husband points towards their 2 Children and says –
then do u think I’ve downloaded these from Google?
A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
Teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."
An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.
The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and
meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband
could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions
of the problem.
"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from
her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and
see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet,
and so on until you get a response."
So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
So he moves to the other end of the room, about
30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away.
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey,
what's for supper?". No response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for
supper?"
"For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!"
Man: How old is your father? Boy: He is eight years old. Man: What? Boy: Because he became father when I was born eight years ago.
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.