The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war-weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans! You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
Friend 1: “Did you know that I had taken up story-writing as a career?”
Friend 2: “No, sold anything yet?”
Friend 1: “Yes, my watch, my saxophone, and my overcoat.”
Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding.
After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over.
Patty asked her mother, "Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?"
"What do you mean, change her mind?" asked Mrs. Sullivan.
"Well`, said the child, "she went into the church with one man and came out with another!"
Lord, you know I like to bake,
(I say it's for my family's sake),
Apple pies and cheesecake too,
And dumplings in the Irish stew.
Lord, you know I like to bake,
But I need to curb my intake,
Pavlova, a delicious sugary fluff,
I never seem to have enough.
Lord, you know I like to bake,
But cholesterol pills I now take,
These words I must never utter,
"Please pass me the cream and butter"
Lord, a special favour I shall ask,
It would only be a simple task,
You who changed water into wine,
Dissolve those calories when I dine!
A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
Teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."
01. Man tells his friend: My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter.
02. Hi, my name is Sangeeta, married with two kids.
03. Don't laugh, otherwise I'll fall down your teeth.
04. Teacher to student: Pick up the paper and fall in dustbin.
05. Why do you keep rotating near girl's hostel.
06. Santa tells Banta: First I will marry my sister. Then my father will marry me.
07. you hang the chart there... or i will hang myself
08. My vaathiyaar introduced his two sons to me. My top son Ramesh and my bottom son Suresh.
09. You three of you, stand together separately.
10. Take 5 cm wire of any length
11. why are you looking at the monkey outside when i am standing here?
12. be quiet. Principal passed away just now
13. all of you stand in a straight circle
14. I have two daughters....both of them are girls
15. open the windows.... let the atmosphere come in
16. why are you so late? Say yes or no...
17. both of you three get out of the class
Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?”
“Because we needed the eggs!”