Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friends act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank., "You know hes only going to use it on drugs or booze."
Teacher: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
Jimmy: “I don’t has a pencil.”
Teacher: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
Jimmy: “Who stole all the pencils then?”
Three drunks hailed a taxi. The driver - seeing that they were wasted - decided to pull a fast one. So he switched the engine on, then quickly switched it off and announced, "We're here!" The first guy handed him the fare, and said, "Thanks." But the third guy just angrily smacked the cabbie's head. "What was that for?" asked the cabbie, afraid that he'd been caught. "That," said the passenger, "is for driving too fast!"
While on a field trip to an amusement park, the teacher lost his wallet. Gathering the group together, he told the kids, ” My wallet had $500 in it. I will give a $25 reward to anyone who finds it.” A voice from the back of the group chimed in, “And I’ll give $50!”
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it
alright.
My puppy likes the water.
My puppy likes to swim.
I've never seen a puppy
who swims as much as him.
He swims not on the surface,
but only underneath.
And maybe I should warn you,
he has very scary teeth.
Whenever people see him
they're frightened of his grin.
Or maybe it's his lack of fur.
Or maybe it's his fin.
If you should buy a puppy,
just get the kind that barks.
Don't be like me. I bought mine
at a store that just sells sharks.