While on a field trip to an amusement park, the teacher lost his wallet. Gathering the group together, he told the kids, ” My wallet had $500 in it. I will give a $25 reward to anyone who finds it.” A voice from the back of the group chimed in, “And I’ll give $50!”
A young mother was having a consultation with a doctor. As they spoke, her Little Johnny could clearly be heard terrorizing the people in the waiting room - yet she made no attempt to restrain him.
Soon they heard some clattering in an adjoining room, but still she did nothing. Finally, after an extra-loud crash, the woman casually told the doctor, "I hope you don't mind my Little Johnny playing in there."
"No, not at all," said the doctor calmly. "I'm sure he'll calm down as soon as he finds the poison."
Santa & a girl standing on the bus stop:
Santa to ladki: Nice lipstick.
Girl: Thanks.
Santa: Nice top and jeans
Girl: Thanks.
Santa: Nice ear-rings
Girl: Thanks.
Santa: Nice neckless.
Girl: Thank you so much BHAIYA.
Santa: Very strange, phir bhi tum sundar nahi lag rahi ho.
Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?” Santa : “Hidden camera!” Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?” Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
There is nothing more expensive than a single drop of a female/girl tear!
When a tear falls, it first mixes with 'MAC' eyeliner and 'Maybelline' mascara;
Then it comes down to the cheek, it mixes with "La Femme" blusher;
And in case it touches the lips, it gets mixed with 'Lancome' lipstick;
This means that a single drop is worth at least Rs 15000!
A teacher says "OK, class. Today we're going to be talking about the tenses. If I say 'I'm beautiful,' what tense am I using?"
A boy raises his hand and says, "Obviously the past tense, Miss."