One rainy day on my way home from school,
I found a big worm and thought it was cool.
I picked up the worm with my bare hand,
held it up high thinking how grand!
The worm was so cute and wiggled a lot,
I put him in my pocket to show Mom what I'd caught.
What will she say when I show her my find?
Will she let me keep it? I hope she won't mind.
Mom was in the kitchen when I showed her what I'd found.
She screamed, "No, way! Put it back in the ground!"
Now I'm so angry, she always says "No",
If she won't let me keep it, then I will just go!
So me and my worm packed a sandwich or two,
ran out the door and down the street we both flew.
We walked to the park and sat on a bench,
I pulled out my worm and noticed a stench.
He looked kind of floppy, but wiggled a bit,
I thought, "Oh my Gosh, my worm is not fit!"
I laid him in the dirt and let him go free.
I guess that my pocket was not the best place to be.
A visitor to Santa, "Which is Mr Banta's flat?"
Santa: Please come with me.
The visitor is taken on stairs to the 3rd floor.
The visitor rings the bell and there is no response. He rings it again and again and still no one answers. Visitor: I think he is not in. Santa: Yeah, he has gone out. He'll be back in the evening!
But Fred died recently. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend, Jody, and says, "Well, I'm sure Fred would be pleased."
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"
"All of it?" said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
"Really?" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Helen answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Jody says, "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My goodness, how big is it ?!"
"Two and a half carats."
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
The full name of world famous artist Pablo Picasso is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santisma Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso.
Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?
Johnny: Sun
Teacher: Why?
Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.
There is a California dude going through a desert. He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman.
He's having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching.
He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea?" They look at each other and say: "Two thousand miles!"
And he says: "Wow what a cool beach!!!"