A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.
The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."
The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.
"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.
"Exactly," replied the instructor.
To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
A woman walked into the pet shop and told the owner she needed a rat and a couple of cockroaches. “What do you need them for?” “Because,” said the woman, “I’m moving and my lease says that when I move out I must leave the place in the same condition as I found it!”
Banta was once visiting London. After a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of London, he found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, and eventually couldn’t control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him,
Hey, What do you think you re doing here?
Banta: sorry I have to "Pee"
Officer: No PP here okay? Follow me...
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around....
Officer: Pee here.. have a nice day.
Banta: Oh sir ... that is very nice of you, is this English courtesy ?
Officer: No... This is Indian Embassy !!
A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.........13" the man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned '14.........14.........14.......14.'
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question." "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!
Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of presence of mind.
This is a famous paper written for an Oxford philosophy exam, normally requiring an eight page essay answer and expected to be backed up with source material, quotes and analytical reasoning. This guy wrote the below answer and topped the exam!
OXFORD EXAMINATION BOARD 1987, ESSAY QUESTION
Question: What is courage? (50 Marks)
Answer (After 7 blank pages, at the end of the last page…): This is courage
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery.
He answered the call asap, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block.
He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.
On seeing him, the dad yelled: "Why did U take all this time to come? Don't U know that my son's life is in danger? Don't U have any sense of responsibility?"
The doctor smiled & said:
"I am sorry, I wasn't in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call...... And now, I wish you'd calm down so that I can do my work"
"Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would U calm down? If your own son dies now what will U do??" said the father angrily
The doctor smiled again & replied: "I will say what Job said in the Holy Book "From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God".
Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God's grace"
"Giving advises when we're not concerned is so easy" Murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy,
"Thank goodness!, your son is saved!" And without waiting for the father's reply he carried on his way running. "If U have any question, ask the nurse!!"
"Why is he so arrogant? He couldn't wait some minutes so that I ask about my son's state" Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.
The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: "His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son's surgery.
And now that he saved your son's life, he left running to finish his son's burial."
Moral-Never judge anyone..... because U never know how their life is & what they're going through"
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation. Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?”
“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.
“Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?”
“Well,” said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but it’s sure worth two dollars.
With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.”