The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “Let’s see what you got.”
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “all right, get in.”
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed
an entire class.
That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D!
No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.
What a profound short little paragraph that says it all "You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the
government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they
work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.
You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, "That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy catches his breath, then says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the asshole who pushed me in the pool!"
LAW OF TELEPHONE:
When u dial a wrong number,u never get a busy tone.
LAW OF WORKSHOP:
Any tool when dropped, will roll to least accessible corner.
LAW OF TRAFFIC:
If u change lane, the one u were in will start moving faster.
LAW OF ENCOUNTER:
Probability of meeting someone u know increases when u r with someone u don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF LOGICAL ARGUMENT:
Anything is possible if u don't know what u r talking about...
Lord, you know I like to bake,
(I say it's for my family's sake),
Apple pies and cheesecake too,
And dumplings in the Irish stew.
Lord, you know I like to bake,
But I need to curb my intake,
Pavlova, a delicious sugary fluff,
I never seem to have enough.
Lord, you know I like to bake,
But cholesterol pills I now take,
These words I must never utter,
"Please pass me the cream and butter"
Lord, a special favour I shall ask,
It would only be a simple task,
You who changed water into wine,
Dissolve those calories when I dine!
Teacher to students: can anyone tell a word which has more than 1000 letters in it?
Sam suddenly stands up and said “postbox”!
A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman,
"Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied - "My husband's cheque book."