There is a California dude going through a desert. He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman.
He's having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching.
He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea?" They look at each other and say: "Two thousand miles!"
And he says: "Wow what a cool beach!!!"
A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell me the time?" The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It is a quarter to three, young man." "Thanks," said the boy. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my ass." With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the outraged businessman started chasing him. He had not been running long when an old friend stopped him. "Why are you running like this at your age?" asked the friend. Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said, "That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his ass!" "So what's your hurry," said the friend. "You still have ten minutes."
“Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding
out her hand.
“My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
“Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear it is,” insisted Johnny. “I had to smear it with honey,
but I finally got him to eat it.”
Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.
He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
“When will Punjab Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 10.30.
“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.
Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks
Santa was spending some of his hard-earned cash on a luxury cruise and was given a table
with a Frenchman.
At their first meal together, the Frenchman said, "Bon appetit!"
Before the next meal commenced the performance was repeated.
"Bon appetit," said the Frenchman.
"Santa Ji," replied Santa.
After this had happened at every meal for three days, Santa was getting fed up, and told a fellow traveller about it.
"He tells me his name is Bon Appetit and I tell him my name is Santa, and then at the next meal, we start all over again."
The fellow traveller laughed and explained to Santa that the Frenchman was not introducing himself and that 'Bon appetit' meant "Good appetite", or "I hope that you enjoy your meal!"
Santa breathed a sigh of relief on receiving this information. Next morning, at breakfast,
Santa greeted the Frenchman, "Bon appetite."
The Frenchman nodded politely and said, "Santa Ji."
There was a very old man who was lying upstairs, dying.
Little jackie came in and said "Hi Grandpa"
"Hi little sweetie" he said. "tell me, are those Grandmas extra special cookies I smell?"
"Yes" Jackie replied.
"Do you think you can sneak downstairs and get a couple for me?"
"Sure" Jackie replied
In a few minutes, Little Jackie came back with a frown on his face.
Grandpa asked, "What's wrong?"
"Grandma would not let me have any; she says they are for after the funeral.
:) :) :)
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it
alright.