A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER "JESUS".

A man and and a woman from Alabama don't want any more children because they already have 11. So the husband goes to a doctor in Ohio. The doctor asks, "What state are you from?

The man say,s "Alabama." The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn't so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California.

When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Alabama, he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in Ohio told him. The husband figures that the doctors must be right.

So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. ''1...2...3...4...5...'' The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. ''6...7...8...9...''