Tinkle, Tinkle little car
How I wonder what you are.
Leaking oil every day
Having it your own way.
Going up hills real slow
I don't want you any mo'.
Tinkle, Tinkle little car
Boy, what a lemon you are.
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.
Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.
There was a very old man who was lying upstairs, dying.
Little jackie came in and said "Hi Grandpa"
"Hi little sweetie" he said. "tell me, are those Grandmas extra special cookies I smell?"
"Yes" Jackie replied.
"Do you think you can sneak downstairs and get a couple for me?"
"Sure" Jackie replied
In a few minutes, Little Jackie came back with a frown on his face.
Grandpa asked, "What's wrong?"
"Grandma would not let me have any; she says they are for after the funeral.
:) :) :)
Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar.
"I've come to meet my brother," said the Santa. "He's due to fly in from Canada in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years."
"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the Banta.
"I'm sure I won't," said Santa, "after all, he's been away for a long time."
"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the Banta.
"Of course he will," said Santa. "Sure, I haven't been away at all."
(Girl standing in the bathroom washing her face. She’ve been under a lot of stress, so she have been breaking out a lot more than she used to. Her boyfriend comes in and points.)
Boyfriend: “Eeeeeww! What’s on your face?!”
Girl: “You’re such a jerk! You know I hate when you do that!”
Boyfriend: *hugs me* “I love you no matter what, my beautiful pizza face!”
Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed.
"What happened?" asked Santa.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "
"How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Australia was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "