Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed.
“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked.
“Yes, I do,” Banta replied.
“Very well, then,” the doctor said.
He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood.
The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?”
“Oh my goodness!” Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger … “Dead men do bleed!!”
The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, "How do you determine if a patient is cured."
The psychologist explains:
"We take them to the bathtub, which is filled with water, hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub."
"I see," says the health minister, "the cured person would choose the cup because it`s bigger, and would empty the tub faster."
"Actually no," replies the psychologist, "a normal person would simply pull the plug."
My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, "I love my new garage-door opener." "I love mine too," my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.
I'm am not a great man I am just a man who has ideas and forces them on to the public via the Internet.
One day teacher asked Sam that did his father help him with his homework.
Sam simply said that “No, he did it all by himself”!
A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.
Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community." The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer.
Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators in front of the door.
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest.
“Oh I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”