TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO” !!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
Santa heard his son reciting his homework:
"Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...`" "Shut up !" shouted furoius Santa. "Watch your language! You`re not allowed to use the swearwords".
"But, Dad," replied the boy, "that`s what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Santa went right into the classroom to complain.
"Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That`s not what I taught them. They`re supposed to say, `Two plus two, the sum of which is four.` "
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.
A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" he asks.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it," she replies.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explains.
She looks satisfied and apologizes.
Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.
When he comes to, he says, "What was that for?"
"YOUR HORSE PHONED!"
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes,
and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch
follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
Oye, I am only following the instructions 'Answer in brief'.
I want u …
To be with me In a nice Restaurent
To have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
“Pay The Bill”