Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
Chemistry class, chemistry class,
The class in which I do surpass!
The class I really most enjoy,
My teacher, though, I do annoy!
Mixing that, twirling this,
Adding 'till I hear a hiss!
Prompting looks up from her desk,
Towards my beaker, statuesque!
Heating up, cooling down,
My teacher watches, face a frown!
Lovely liquid, yellow bubbles,
Teacher's ready for the troubles!
Exploding here, exploding there,
Yellow globs in teacher's hair!
It's dripping onto teacher's shawl,
And creeping down the classroom wall!
Fizzle here, fizzle through,
Oh no, I think I'm in a stew!
It's eaten through the wooden floor,
And dropped below on Mr. Moore!
Chemistry mess, much distress,
My brew today did not impress!
Chemistry is my favorite class,
But that's my last, I think, alas!
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your steering wheel.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?”
“Because we needed the eggs!”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
“Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line,at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note:
“Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO” !!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !
Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule
Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt
Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his grass,
Tax the roads he must pass
Tax his food, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears
Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough
If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance tax