TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO” !!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your steering wheel.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
While on a field trip to an amusement park, the teacher lost his wallet. Gathering the group together, he told the kids, ” My wallet had $500 in it. I will give a $25 reward to anyone who finds it.” A voice from the back of the group chimed in, “And I’ll give $50!”
A woman called up the hospital and said, "I want to know if the patient Rita Brown in Room No 1438 is getting better,"
The RMO replied, "She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful news!"
RMO: I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!
Woman: No I am Rita Brown. No one tells me anything!
There is a California dude going through a desert. He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman.
He's having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching.
He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea?" They look at each other and say: "Two thousand miles!"
And he says: "Wow what a cool beach!!!"