Sardar ji in NYPD
Santa Singh went to apply for job in New York Police department and got an interview. NYPD asked Sardar – Who murdered Abraham Lincoln?
Santa said – I will find out. Thanks for giving me the job.
A young mother was having a consultation with a doctor. As they spoke, her Little Johnny could clearly be heard terrorizing the people in the waiting room - yet she made no attempt to restrain him.
Soon they heard some clattering in an adjoining room, but still she did nothing. Finally, after an extra-loud crash, the woman casually told the doctor, "I hope you don't mind my Little Johnny playing in there."
"No, not at all," said the doctor calmly. "I'm sure he'll calm down as soon as he finds the poison."
Two kids were walking home from school. “What should we do tonight?” – one asked.
“Let’s flip a coin,” replied the other. “If it comes up head, we will go to the movies. If it comes up tail, we’ll play pool. If it stands on edge, we’ll study.”
Santa shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will".
"That is very kind of you", said the doctor emotionally and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change".
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.
Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Was I in here last night?"
"You certainly were," replies the bartender.
"And did I spend a lot of money?" Santa asked.
"You spent over Rs. 10000," replies the bartender.
"Thank god for that," says Santa, "I thought I'd wasted it."
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" The doctor interrupts, "Nine..."