A family took a trip to Disney World. After three exhausting days, they headed home. As they drove away, the son waved and said, “Goodbye, Mickey.”
The daughter waved and said, “Goodbye, Minnie.”
The husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Goodbye, Money.”
01. Man tells his friend: My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter.
02. Hi, my name is Sangeeta, married with two kids.
03. Don't laugh, otherwise I'll fall down your teeth.
04. Teacher to student: Pick up the paper and fall in dustbin.
05. Why do you keep rotating near girl's hostel.
06. Santa tells Banta: First I will marry my sister. Then my father will marry me.
07. you hang the chart there... or i will hang myself
08. My vaathiyaar introduced his two sons to me. My top son Ramesh and my bottom son Suresh.
09. You three of you, stand together separately.
10. Take 5 cm wire of any length
11. why are you looking at the monkey outside when i am standing here?
12. be quiet. Principal passed away just now
13. all of you stand in a straight circle
14. I have two daughters....both of them are girls
15. open the windows.... let the atmosphere come in
16. why are you so late? Say yes or no...
17. both of you three get out of the class
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet and said in a rather stern voice, “Skippy!”.
The woman thought, “This is great!” and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.
The father again looked and the dog and yelled, “Dammit Skippy!”
Once again the woman smiled and thought “Yes!”. A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, “Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she poops on you!”
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits. "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?".
"Eventually" said the Doctor, "she will rise and shine!"
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man. "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years."