There are three people named “Poop, Manners, and Shut Up."
One day, Poop fell out the window and Manners went out the window to pick him up. While Manners was going to help Poop, he told Shut Up to get the police. So that is what Shut Up did. When the police arrived, they asked, “What is your name?" And Shut Up replies with “Shut Up." Then the police ask again, “What is your name?" “Shut Up." “What is your name?" “Shut Up." And then the police ask, “Excuse me, where are your manners?" And then Shut Up says, “Oh, Manners? Manners is over there picking up Poop."
While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.
“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”
A woman called up the hospital and said, "I want to know if the patient Rita Brown in Room No 1438 is getting better,"
The RMO replied, "She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful news!"
RMO: I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!
Woman: No I am Rita Brown. No one tells me anything!
Santa: I'm in a big trouble!
Banta: Why is that?
Santa: I saw a mouse in my house!
Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
Santa: I don't have one.
Banta: Well then, buy one.
Santa: Can't afford one.
Banta: I can give you mine if you want.
Santa: That sounds good.
Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
Santa: I don't have any cheese.
Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
Santa: I don't have oil.
Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
Santa I don't have bread.
Banta: Then what the hell is that mouse doing at your house???
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Santa and Banta decided to rob a bank but during the process of the robbery they mess it up, but they do managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.
They do manage to take one sack each.
After a while they meet again and one asks the other...
Santa: What did you find in your sack?
Banta: Ten lakh Rupees!
Santa: Wow... that's a lot of money!' What did you do with the cash?
Banta: I bought a house. How about your sack?
Santa: It was full of bills.
Banta: And what did you do with them?
Santa: Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...
Man: How old is your father? Boy: He is eight years old. Man: What? Boy: Because he became father when I was born eight years ago.