A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that read, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. As the first driver sped past, he yelled, "Leave us alone...we don't believe in that religious stuff!"
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. One clergyman said to the other, "Do you think we should just put up a sign that says, 'Bridge Out' instead?"
A boy called FM radio & said: I’ve found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Ram new road, Kathmandu. Radio Jockey: How honest so you want to return his purse? Boy: no.. I just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him.
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council). 1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines. In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
AFTER ENGAGEMENT:
HE: I waited so long for this.
SHE: Do U want me to leave?
HE: No. never!
SHE: Do U love me?
HE: Yes I did, I'm doing & I'll do.
SHE: Did you ever cheat me?
HE: I would rather die than do it.
SHE: Will you kiss me?
HE: Surely, it's my pleasure.
SHE: Will you hurt me?
HE: No way, I'm not such a kind of person.
SHE: Can I trust you?
HE: Yes.
SHE: Oh, Darling!
To know AFTER WEDDING:
>Read from bottom to top<
I gave my dog some peanut butter,
Bread and blue grape juice,
A garbage truck with junk inside,
A toy that had no use...
I heard that dogs eat anything,
And I just had to see...
He ate a shirt,
He ate my pants,
He almost ate up me!
I put some books in front of dog,
To see if he could read,
He ate those books,
With a grin,
He's a special breed...
I put a pen in front of dog,
To see if he could write,
He chewed and chewed that little pen,
From morning to the night...
Next day he scratched,
And scratched,
And scratched,
Scratched too much for me,
I got some new flea powder,
To chase away the fleas...
He ate the white flea powder,
He licked it nice and clean,
Although his tongue got kind of white,
No fleas are ever seen...
I gave my dog some dog food,
He stared at me with fear,
The food is sitting in his bowl,
Its almost been a year...
Swimming in the swimming pool
is where I like to "B,"
wearing underwater goggles
so that I can "C."
Yesterday, before I swam,
I drank a cup of "T."
Now the pool is just an "ool"
because I took a "P."