Friend 1: “Did you know that I had taken up story-writing as a career?”
Friend 2: “No, sold anything yet?”
Friend 1: “Yes, my watch, my saxophone, and my overcoat.”
Girl before finding her Love:
He should love me more & more everyday
He should never let me sad
He should always understand me
He should be perfect !!
After finding her boyfriend:
So what if he is not loving me unconditional, I understand & love him anyway
So what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me!
So what if he is not fully understanding me, I will understand him
So what if he is not perfect, I am not perfect too! :) :)
“The president will come to town…”
“The price of beans is coming down…”
“I’ll love you till the end of time…”
“But shooting ducks should be a crime…”
“We’ve never had a better sale…”
“We’ll have to break them out of jail…”
“The Pope arrived to lead the prayers…”
“The Dallas Cowboys beat the Bears…”
“The temperature is three below…”
“These vitamins will help you grow…”
What’s going on? Well, bless my soul!
Baby’s got the remote control.
I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!
Her eyes are like diamonds that are shiny and bright
Her hair is so soft and black as the night
Her legs are long and her body is slender
When you hold her close she is warm and tender
Hiding amongst the shadows so tall
Looking much closer she's not there at all
Always in trouble with her curious way
She stays out all night and sleeps in all day
Creeps into your room and sits up on your bed
Gives gentle kisses on your nose and your head
Always expects you to open the door
There isn't a sound as she walks on the floor
She will not come over when you call
Walks straight past as if you're not there at all
If you want to work she wants to play
Doesn't care if you forget her birthday
Is she your wife or is she your lover
Is she a friend or is she your mother
She is none of those things I can tell you that
This beautiful creature is only the cat
Soldier to General: Sir! A small enemy group is attacking..
General: Quickly bring me my red shirt..
"After Enemies Defeat"
Soldier: Sir why the red shirt?
General: In red shirt if i got shot, my soldiers would'nt see my blood so they wont b discouraged..
Soldier: Sir 100 enemy tanks are attacking..
General: Hurry up! Bring me My Yellow Trousers...
The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes. Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude..." A student's voice broke the confused silence, and volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone, sir.