A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
There were two brothers at aged 12 & 8. They were so naughty and always people comes with complain to their parents. Parents became very fed-up and they have taken them to the mental doctor.
Doctor firstly call 12 years boy and asked him “Tell me where is god?” The boy keep himsilence. Then doctor again with loud voice asked him “Tell me where is God?”.
The boy suddenly ran away and went to his home and hide himself in his cloth cupboard.
When another brother saw that he also ran away after him and reached to the home and asked “Brother what doctor asked you and why you ran away?”
The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinking that we did it”
Officer: We need you in the army.
Joker: I’ll join but on three conditions.
Officer: Ok. what are the conditions?
Joker: My first condition is that I’ll not wear the uniform because it is hot.
Officer: Ok. What is the second condition?
Joker: I’ll not do the perade and other training under the sun because it is hot. I’ll only do it under the shed or some kind of shadow cover.
Officer: Ok. What is your third condition?
Joker: And my last and most important condition is that during war times, I’ll remain on leave.
Two kids were walking home from school. “What should we do tonight?” – one asked.
“Let’s flip a coin,” replied the other. “If it comes up head, we will go to the movies. If it comes up tail, we’ll play pool. If it stands on edge, we’ll study.”
A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, "Happy Butt."
The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
The girl goes to the principal's office and he asks, "What's your name?" The little girl says, "Happy Butt."
The principal calls the girl's mother to get the truth. After getting off the phone, he says, "Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."
The girl exclaims, "Glad Ass -- Happy Butt -- what's the difference?"
Bob had been shopping downtown all day with his wife and four little children. They were all so tired, he decided to take a taxicab home.
Approaching a cab driver, he demanded, “How much will you charge to drive us to the Bronx?”
“I figure $5 apiece for you and your wife,” said the driver. “I’ll take the four kids along for nothing.”
Bob turned to his children and said, “Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home. Momma and I will take the subway.”
Even though he could not tell time, my three-year-old grandson was playing with a wall clock when I visited.
Later, when I was putting on my coat to leave, I asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, then brightened.
“It’s time for you to go,” he answered triumphantly.