Brilliant answers

Brilliant answers by the student who got 0%?

1)In which battle did Tippu sultan die?
A-In his last battle!

2)Where was the declaration of independence signed?
A-At the bottom of the page.

3)What's the main reason 4 divorce?
A-Marriage.

4)Ganga flows in which state?
A-Liquid state.

5)when was Mahatma Gandhi born?
A-On his birthday.

6) How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people?
A-By preparing mango shake.!!

Heart attack message

Double heart attack message by a girl to a boy: 1st SMS: Let`s break up now, it`s all over. 2nd SMS: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! That was not for you.

Blind date

Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack."
So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is.
He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"

We do weird things

Little Johnny was, fascinated, as her mother was putting cold cream on her face. 


"Why are you rubbing that cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked. 

"To stay pretty for Daddy," said her mother. 

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. 

"What's the matter Mommy," asked Johnny, "are you giving up?

Church Joke

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

A man and his wife are driving down the road

A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite." Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that" "WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" the man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curios, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!"

The boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''

''What about the green one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''

''What about the red one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''

The man says, ''What does HE do?''

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''